Broken
by Andrejia
Summary: Abby and a few of her thoughts after her confession about Moretti.


_This is written as a response to a challenge about Luka and Abby's sleepeing arrangements after she confessed her indiscretion, while they were in Croatia. Also, many thanks to a special friend who helped me with some of the grammar. It's written from Abby's POV, since I descovered I cannot **write** Luka, I can only write **for** him, therefore express my affection for him through Abby. Disclaimer: No, I still don't own Luka. Or Abby. Or E.R...yet._

3:15. A.M. Or something like that. She could never quite tell the time; those old clocks, hanging on the wall were always confusing her. And that noise, like a bomb waiting to explode, although now it seemed intangible. Or was it the sound of her heart pounding covering it? What time was it in Chicago now? Let's see…seven hours behind…that means…8 P.M. A few more minutes and her shift would've ended; she would've been free to go home. Home. But she wasn't working today. Although she wasn't free either. And home?

So…8:00 P.M. She could fall asleep at 8. There were times when she went to bed even earlier. Like…when she was pregnant, got very tired sometimes. But then, she could shower, find an old T-shirt of Luka's and rest her head against the soft pillow that always smelled like him.

She closed her eyes for a second and shook the thought away. There will be more nights like that…except, except for the pregnant thing. No. Don't. Don't cry…he's going to come any second and that's how you want him to find you? Crying? No. That phase is over and done. She shook her head again, tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear and rested her shoulders on the head of the bed. She was sitting there like that, in the middle of the bed, for so long, that her eyes began to accommodate the darkness of the room. She wanted to turn on the little lamp in the corner at first, but she felt like didn't have the right to touch anything. This was his territory and the ball was in his court, too. Just wait…

It was bigger than she expected - his family's vacation house. The size was pretty much all she managed to notice and that only because she had trouble finding the bathroom. He'd driven her straight home from the airport and she'd looked out of the window the whole time, but now she couldn't remember a thing. And not details like…streets…or people; big things like…like the colour of the car he rented. This bedroom was big too. He'd been sleeping here. The whole house smelled differently but this had Luka's scent all over it.

3:15 A.M. Great. Whatever happened to "time flies"? Because it sure seems to have stopped around these parts. What was he doing? When she'd decided to put an end to what had to have been the most "wonderful" day of her life, she figured he was going to follow her soon. To wrap his arms around her, to gently stroke her hair and to promise her everything's going to be ok. To make her feel small and safe again. She had heard him flipping some papers at first but now the silence was making her heart beat even faster. If only she could fall asleep…

She had to; she had to tell him as soon as they got…there. If it were for him, he wanted to be told straight away, after he released her from his arms at the airport, right then and there. He'd waited enough. So she did, she told him; she started talking and she didn't stop until his eyes turned dark, when he graciously got up from the table, without saying a word. His eyes had not met hers since and she was wondering how long it would take for him to look at her again, praying it wasn't something close to forever.

She heard him coughing in the hallway as he approached the room. She fussed a bit, moved over to her side of the bed and waited. He opened the door and entered the room, headed towards a small closet next to the window and took out a duvet. Without saying anything, he left the bedroom again.

She managed to form the words and make them come out of her mouth so full of innocence, hope and despair, calling out after him.

"You…You're...You're not coming to bed yet?"

"No", he said sharply as he closed the door behind him.

And he was gone. And so was her air.

3:15 A.M. Was that clock broken or something?


End file.
